:)

Well…I am really glad that she has finally moved on and found somebody new. I really am… I am happy for her she is taking the chance to meet new people and experience life with them. I do miss her everyday but this was for the best for the both of us. It drives me crazy whenever i think about it but what can i do. You are happy now and I am really glad to see it. What they say is true…”time heals everything.” May be it’s true for her but I still feel the same way I felt for her 4 years ago and It truly sucks. It hurts so bad but I learnt to let go… LOL not a good feeling at all.

Those Nights

I remember those nights when we had those late night conversations about stupid and crazy things. Like we would talk about what schoolbag you should buy for school and I would have to choose it for you online. Sometimes I would get annoyed and you would get pissed at me thinking that I don’t care about you. Haha, I have to say you were cute. And there were those nights where I would talk about EDM and Djs and you would get really bored and annoyed. And that always pissed me off lol. I would force you to download songs you don’t want to listen and get pissed if you didn’t download it. But you downloaded it anyways. I really miss those nights where we would bitch about people and made fun of them. It was fun. I really miss those nights… And the worst of all, I miss you so dam much.

Memories

Good memories are what hurts us the most.

Things I Should Have Said

I should have said ‘I love you’ to her every single day.
I should have said ‘You are pretty’ to her every single day.
I should have said that her dimples were the best feature.
I should have said that she makes me happy.
I should have said that she was the perfect one for me.
I should have said that my love for her has never changed since the day i fell in love with her in 6th grade.
I should have said that hugging her made me feel safe.
I should have said that I wanted to kiss her every single day.
I should have said ‘I miss you’ every weekend I didn’t see her.
I should have said that her love makes me feel complete and make me who I am today.
I should have said that I need her in my life.
I really regret not saying it to you Caroline…
I wish I could go back in time and say everything I should have said.

Now You are Gone

May be I made a mistake. May be breaking up with her is the biggest mistake I have made in my life. I mean she was the best girlfriend any guy could wish for. Why did I do that? Why? It’s just me thinking for the future. I didn’t want to be the guy that holds her back for her future. But she doesn’t see it that way at all. I really can’t explain to her about because it might sound ridiculous. I miss her so much… so damn much. No one wouldn’t understand me why I broke up with her including her. It’s not because I don’t love her anymore. It’s for her best. I gave her a chance to see the world and experience new things and have nothing to hold back. I don’t know if she misses me but boy, I miss her so fucking much. How do I move on? I really can’t. I know myself that I can’t move on. She was so amazing. Why did I do it? I am such a stupid person thinking things ahead and end up hurting both of us. I should have just live in the moment with her. I really regret breaking up with her but I never regret the fact that I spent 4 years with her together. I enjoyed every moment we have together. It’s like 4 years down the fucking drain…I really can’t stop thinking about her. Every second. Every minute. Every fucking day. It hurts so much inside…I can’t really explain. This is the worst pain I have ever felt in my life so far…Call me dramatic or a dumbass for hanging onto a girl but she was so fucking special. The way I felt for her will never be the same for anyone else…I am pretty sure. You all might be wondering, how special was she? Was she super pretty? The answer is no, she is not. She is not that type of girl that every guy would dream of having but she was perfect for me. May be this is what I deserve. I let the one go…

EDM

People say EDM is just new trend of music.

I believe it’s a way of life.

So close yet so far

I just don’t understand her. Why does she keep making me feel like shit? As far as i know, I have been trying really hard to get her back. But she keeps pushing me away… She is scared…scared to be committed again… scared that her heart will break again. She needs to realize that I am not going to break her heart again. I am not going make her cry again. 

Thoughts.

I think about you…almost all the time.
Every second, every minute, everyday…
How can I not think about you?
You were my first love, my first kiss and the one that could see right through my complicated mind…
I lost you once and it felt like SHIT…
Losing you again is the greatest nightmare for me…
Thoughts of you…
…
..
.

Only You.

How can I forget you
The memories come and go
You’re all I’ve ever wanted
You’re all I’ve ever known
Can I be happy
Living with your ghost?

– Matthew Perryman Jones

Moments.

There are moments in life that I can never forget. Everybody has their own unforgettable moments in their lives. Moments can be happy ones or sad ones. We tend to remember these so called “moments” because they are worth remembering. Moments happen so that we have something to hold on to in life. Every moments in life are worth remembering. I have my moments. 

Do you?